The #1 reason to set unrealistic goals (and its not achieving it)

The 1 reason to set unrealistic goals (and its leid achieving it)The 1 reason to set unrealistic goals (and its not achieving it)There are certain keystone accomplishments that open-up unforeseen and unanticipated doors.These accomplishments are things you do one time that continue to yield opportunities, relationships, collaborations, and ongoing growth. Dan Sullivan, the founder of Strategic Coach, calls these strategic byproducts or unanticipated side-effects.Most of these accomplishments require that you take a leadership role and actually create something.You cant be passive. You must be innovative, creative, and generous. Youve got to work a few years like few people will so you can spend the rest of your life like few people can.One of my mentors, Richie Norton, told me that having a bestselling book was one of those achievements. Im still making money and getting opportunities from the book I wrote over 5 years ago Riche told me. Something in his words sunk-in.I already wante d to be an author - but I underestimated all of the things that becoming a bestselling and traditionally published author would do for me.I also unanticipated everything Id need to do and become in order to write at the level I wanted to.If you want to do something at the absolute highest level, you need to become a polymath - which means youve mastered multiple things, not just one.Youve got toLearn how to set and quickly achieve goalsKnow what to focus on FIRST in order to get confidence and momentum (confidence is a byproduct of winning, even making small wins) so start winning first thing in the morning by doing stuff like making your bed, writing in your journal, going for a walk or a workout, listening/reading to powerful books/podcasts/music, and producing a meaningful result in the first 90120 minutes of your dayGet organizedMaster your time and manage your energy (youve got to know WHEN and WHAT to focus on) mornings are generally best for strategic and creative workDisc ern what really matters and what doesntDevelop mentorships and maximize those mentorships, which means you 1) grow THEIR business, 2) unravel your limited subconscious patterns through transformational learning experiences, 3) quickly learn from them to succeed at their level and beyond, 4) and continue to sing their praises for the rest of your life (as Michael Fishman has said, Self-made is an illusion. There are many people who played divine roles in you having the life that you have today. Be sure to let them know how grateful you are.)Brute-force learn a subject (and multiple other subjects), which means you 1) quickly gather the most important information, 2) test that information, 3) reframe your perspective because of that information, and 4) produce new results because of that informationA new definition of learningYou didnt learn something if you cant produce a new outcome. Thats all learning is - the ability to produce an outcome. - Dan SullivanCan you produce the result you want?What must you learn and become to produce the result you want?Learning requires making a permanent improvement to your perspective and behavior.Learning means you see, feel, and live different. It means you can consistently produce better outcomes than you previously could.You become a NEW and UPGRADED version of yourself. And you should do this over, and over, and over. Personality isnt intended to be a fixed and unalterable trait. Rather, your personality is a state that continuously changes, adapts, and evolves.Identity is fluid and highly flexible if youre willing to learn new things. The problem for most people is that they stop ACTIVELY learning new things. Sometime in their late 20s or early 30s, they stop pushing themselves into situations that force them to purge-out limiting and suppressed subconscious patterns.Emotions get stuck at the subconscious level. Suppressed emotions freeze your personality and keep you living in the past, unable to process and seek new experiences that TRANSFORM you.Just as emotions are what keep you stuck, emotions are also what pull the suppressed patterns up to the surface so you can create new patterns. In order to get to the next level, you need to have EMOTIONAL and transformational experiences. Breaking-down and crying is one thing. But more, Im talking about doing stuff that you consider outside of your comfort zone - outside of what youve defined yourself as. As Joe Polish has said, In order to have a breakthrough you have to break something. Get out of your comfort zoneYoure not an introvert or an extrovert. Those are labels and boxes youve put around your behaviors, patterns, and beliefs.You can learn (and unlearn) all of those things. You can produce new results. You can create a new identity, new worldview, and new ability to operate in the world with people.What happened when I tried (and failed) to write a New York Times bestsellerAs I said earlier, I decided I wanted to write a bestselling book. I n order to get a traditional book deal, I learned that I needed to build an online platform. That concept was entirely foreign to me just a few years ago.Cant I just write a book? I thought to myself.Of course not. If it was that easy, everyone would do hard stuff.Its not the activity itself. Its all of the stuff you need to do (and master) to even GET IN THE GAME that will test and prove you.You qualify yourself by putting yourself in the role, and acting into that role. Your behavior shapes your identity. You can become who you intend to be if you begin living that way, today. Not tomorrow.In order to become a successful author, heres just a small handful of things Ive had to learn in the past 3 yearsBuild a websiteWrite articles onlineGet those articles viewed by 1000000s of peopleTurn readers into email subscribersMaximize every online impression I gotReach out to my favorite writers and find-out how I could help them achieve their goalsMake money with my artSell and launch prod uctsInvest money into myself and my educationSpeak more powerfullyFail a lotForget about what other people think about meRedefine who I am and what I do (over and over)Use my time wellGet into flow regularlyLearn fasterInnovate and be creativeHire and train full-time employeesMake large sums of money and invest nearly all of it back into further education, mentoring, experiences, technology, consultants, flights, hotels, etc. etc. etc.Put simply, my path to becoming an author took me down a rabbit-hole of having to master a million other things. If you told me 3 years ago when I was first starting this journey that Id need to hire and train employees, I wouldnt have believed you.If youre seeking TRANSFORMATION, not just achievements, youll be willing to become whatever your path requires you to become.Do it.Once it came time to launch my book, I didnt end-up hitting my original goal of becoming a New York Times bestseller. Although I didnt hit that goal, what I learned trying to hit that goal was worth infinitely more.When you learn something - truly learn it - you OWN it. Its part of you. If you learn how to do a lay-up in basketball, you can do it again and again. You can replicate the result.If you learn how to make a million dollars, you can do it again. And again. And again.This is why you set unrealistic and ridiculous goals, because the path to those goals will change you. Hence, Jim Rohn said, Become a millionaire not for the million dollars, but for what it will make of you to achieve it.What you learn and become is far more important than your previous accomplishments. In fact, if you over-attach yourself to those accomplishments, youll get stuck in a role and identity.What you learn and become is far more important than the accomplishment itself.What you learn is how to produce certain results. You learn how to operate in the world differently.You learn how to learn, and deal with uncomfortable emotions. You also learn how to regulate those emotio ns, because every step you ascend into your personal development will bring-up all sorts of suppressed pain and trauma.Every step you take up, youll have to redefine yourself and the world in a better and more empowering way.What are you trying to accomplish?Are you learning?Are you transforming?Are you able to produce new and better results?What accomplishment would PUSH YOU TO GROW and would also open tons of doors?Your goal becomes the vehicle for learning a ton, developing skills, and creating life-changing relationships.Two types of goalsCrave the result so intensely that the work is irrelevant. - Tim GroverIn psychology, there are two types of goals - achievement and mastery.Achievement goals are all about getting a certain outcome. They are extrinsically motivated.Mastery goals are all about what you learn and become. They are intrinsically motivated.Both are incredibly important. Seeking certain outcomes WHILE seeking mastery is totally possible.Actually, being fully fixate d on either the extrinsic OR the intrinsic can get you stuck.If youre purely Achievement-oriented, then youll never be happy, no matter what you accomplish. Youll fail to realize that the journey truly is the destination.If youre purely Mastery-oriented, you likely wont push yourself as hard as you could. A better approach is pushing yourself to the limits trying to hit a certain milestone. If you dont hit it this time, re-evaluate and try again. Just cause you didnt hit it this time doesnt mean you wont. However, dont forget about all that youre learning and becoming along the way.If you leverage BOTH intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, its like double-dipping. You get the best of both worlds.You can master both byBeing clear on WHY youre pursuing what youre pursuingExpect everything and attach to nothing - expect the best things to happen, have faith and hope, and yet dont over-attach to any specific outcome whether good or schwimmbadRe-adjust your goals when you get new informat ionAchieve your goals regularly and quicklyNever stop learningNever stop honing your motivation and WHY - it really is about other people - as Viktor Frankl said, For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of ones personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of ones surrender to a person other than oneself. Similarly, Christ said, He that findeth his life shall lose it and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.Take plenty of time, regularly, to connect with yourself and your WHYOnly develop TRANSFORMATION-based, not TRANSACTION-based relationshipsWhat unrealistic goal are you pursuing?The greatest dreams are always unrealistic. - Will SmithAre you pursuing something completely unrealistic?If not, youre missing-out huge. Youre missing-out on BECOMING something totally different and better.Youre missing out on several emotional breakthroughs. Youre missing out on LEARNING and transforming both yourself and others.Set huge goals. Pursue them with insane persistence. Learn everything you MUST in order to achieve them.The learning and BECOMING is the most important part. Learning means youve expanded how you see and operate in the world. It means you can consistently produce better outcomes.Learn.Ready to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for putting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThisarticlewas originally published onMedium.